Posts tagged April 6 2008
hearing and heeding

I lay in bed awake and it came to me as it does: I still can’t believe I had twins, that they came early, that I have this scar, that my babies were in incubators, fed through tubes, cut open by surgeons, that one of them died in my arms. The dark bit that feeds off the sadness amplifies the memory of a lifeless Liam on my lap, forces me to replay and recoil and wrap myself around the ache. But last night a soft, affectionate voice cut through like the ringing of a bell: Stop it, mom.

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