If I Were A Zombie came out and we roared; tattooed; giggled; make-upped; ripped and tore; giggled some more. And then I collapsed for near-on three months in a heap, a hermit heap. For weeks I've been a real-live zombie: big painty t-shirts and muddy knees and UUUNNNNGGH when I creeeeeeak out of bed the next day and shuffle over to the pile of big painty t-shirts on the floor. Mountains of topsoil and mountains of blue granite and even the wheelbarrow makes that sound—UUUNNNNGGH—and that's how three months pass in a blink.
But then I remember that kid who pulled out every little thing from the tickle trunk like Hmmmm... Hmmmm... until he found his preferred face: a steampunk burglar. And I think It's already been three months! It's out in the world! and I realize I've been buried in topsoil and blue granite. And so let's raise every glass of green monster punch to Nimbus, Eric Orchard, Woozles, the Halifax Zombie Walk folks, and every other little goblin, robot, and alien who came out to the book launch at the Halifax Central Library to celebrate. Brains!
Families came nice and early to get dolled-up. Early worms got the pick of costumes, from pirate captains to spooky bats. Except with all those giggles, spooky? Nah. Properly costumed, power and magic is funny. Being fearsome, growly, larger than life—all funny. Contagiously so.
We doodled! We shouted! We ran around in circles with great big rubber balls! A storyboard cartoonist for How To Train Your Dragon drew monster portraits! Friends in high places. It was such a great party, I almost forgot we had a book to launch.
Public readings of this book are a rowdy business. Oh my gosh, the sweat. I cast aside the headset microphone because I'd be shouting anyway—yelling and snarling and zapping my ray-gun and glug-glug-blubbing my sea monster butt-dance for gross-out laughs:
Kids are so with it, with their hulk t-shirts and their sass. But we are not lost, fellow adults.
If I were a grown-up
I’d still be cool
I’d eat ice cream for breakfast
Drive my monster truck to school.
I’d stay up past midnight
And my kids would too
I’d spin ’em and squish ’em
And let ’em run wild
They’d say, “You’re still cool, Dad!”
And I’d say, “You too, child…
Buy If I Were A Zombie from e-stores—Amazon!—and real-life ones too—Halifax's Woozles! Lunenburg's Lexicon! Chapters! Direct from Nimbus! Now, for me, it's on to what comes next. I'm already adding topsoil to the baby shoots of brand-new books, and hoping—fingers crossed—that they'll emerge from the dirt and grow, and maybe, just maybe, we'll have more dress-up musical dance-around launch parties. Until then, monster-friends!